While You're Gone
by jessienoel
Summary: A story about life while Ranger's away. Steph is trying to make it on her own and ends up facing off with most of the Burg. Babe story with a little smut :oP
1. Chapter 1

This was my first real attempt at Fanfic but I was too nervous to post it. It is going to take me a long time to finish it but I wanted to post the start to see what people thought. My updates will be slow for sure but I already have the ending written so I promise to finish it!

Not my characters… just having fun

**Chapter 1**

Standing over a handcuffed naked man would be strange for most people. Not for me. It happens more than I would like because of my job. This is not the kind of man you want to see naked and handcuffed. This is the kind of man who should not be allowed to be naked. He skin was pasty and red in places and wrinkly everywhere. He had apparently been lying out in his yard trying to get tanned for his date with Grandma Mazur. No one told him that a bathing suit would be a good idea and he definitely forgot the sunscreen. His front was mostly white, while the entire back half of his body was lobster red. The underside of his arms stood out against his back where I had him cuffed and waiting for Lula. She was supposed to be helping me bring in this FTA, that's Failure to Appear. It means he didn't show for his court date and as Vinnie's bond enforcement agent, I was sent to retrieve him.

Grandma Mazur had asked to help since she had heard so many stories about the whiley old men I was forced to drag into the police station in my line of work. She had set up a date with Arnold to meet for lunch today. He hadn't shown, so Lula and I had driven by his house to see if he had taken off. He was asleep on a lawn chair in the backyard, face down, snoring so loud we heard him as soon as we got out of my car. I was currently driving an old Lincoln town car that looks like it could have previously been property of the mob. What matters is it drove and you could fit a person in the trunk if necessary.

When we tried to wake him, he took off running around the front of the house after squirting baby oil at Lula. I had managed to avoid the spray and took off. He didn't get far before the pain in his legs took over and I rushed into him, unable to slow down fast enough. He was flattened to the sidewalk but I remembered my cuffs and had him restrained before he could try to get away again.

Lula had gone inside trying to wipe off the baby oil. It hadn't stuck to her vinyl halter top in hot pink, but left a mess on top of the table created by her cleavage.

"Do you know what this looks like? I don't do this shit any more. I should not have to walk around looking like some old geezer spilled himself all over my chest." She told me as she came back out of the house. Most of the oil was gone but it left a nice shine all over her chest.

"You never go inside the station with me any way. You'll be able to go home and shower without anyone seeing you. It could have been way worse. You've seen me with all kinds of nasty things on me."

"That's true," she said. "But it's giving me flashbacks to some nasty customers I used to have. Let's get this old man turned over so I can get cleaned up."

We walked Arnold to the car and tried to sit him in my back seat. The old leather material of the bench seat was cracked and hot from the sun. He yelled in pain and I couldn't tell if it was the broken leather or the sun burn that hurt him worse. We had wrapped him in a towel, but it had fallen as we tried to put him in the back seat.

"I'm sorry Mr. Whiticker. Maybe we should get you some Aloe for that?" I told him.

"I don't need Aloe. I need a skin transplant. My date is never gonna sleep with me now. Edna had promised to do nasty things to me." His face was slumped in a look of pure disappointment. My stomach was churning as I tried not to think about what my Grandma had offered to do to this lobster man with the wrinkles.

"We'll get you some aloe on the way downtown." I said with my eyes shut, trying to block out the images.

We took him downtown to the Trenton Police Department and I walked him inside. I got my body receipt, gave the aloe to the officer behind the desk and left out the back door.

As soon as I walked outside I saw Ranger. He was leaning up against the black Mercedes that he had given me with his arms crossed over his chest. I looked around and couldn't find my car or Lula anywhere. I walked over to him and asked, "Where's my car?"

"Right here." he said with his blank face looking at me from behind sunglasses.

"No where's _my car._ The one that I bought."

"Gone for now."

"Where did Lula take it?" I asked getting pissed already.

"I think she was going home to get cleaned up. You missed the mess this time Babe, I'm proud of you." His eyes scanned over my body. Twice. It gave me butterflies and I felt my stomach start to warm in the familiar way it always did when Ranger was around.

"Thanks. But you're changing the subject. I want my car."

He threw me the keys which I of course didn't catch and had to turn around and bend over to pick up.

"Nice view." Came his voice from behind me. I stood up quickly and turned around, trying to remember that I was pissed.

"I can't drive this car. It will die."

"All cars die. Yours just dies quickly and there's usually smoke." His lips turned up slightly at the corners in his almost smile.

"So when are you leaving?" I asked. Ranger had stopped by the bond's office to tell Vinnie he'd be gone for several months and that Tank would handle any high end bonds that came around. I hadn't talked to him yet and was slightly worried that my voice might crack trying to ask the question that was floating around in my mind.

"Tomorrow night."

Shit. This was sooner than I expected, but I should have known with Ranger. Now that question was going to have to come out. I focused on my shoes so I wouldn't see my embarrassment reflected back at me in his sunglasses. "Can you stop by later tonight. I have something I need help with before you take off, if you have time."

"FTA giving you trouble?"

"Something like that. I was just hoping to get your insight before you disappeared again."

"Do you have the file with you?"

"No and I have to run back to the office and grab my check for Mr. Whiticker."

"I'll be there at seven." He said as he walked away to a waiting black Ford Explorer. He drove away before I could remember that I was supposed to be pissed about my missing Lincoln and left me with only the Mercedes as means of transportation.

"Shit." I climbed in the car and drove over to the bonds office. Connie was smiling when I walked in.

"How'd he get you to drive it again?" she asked looking outside at the Mercedes.

"Told Lula to take off with my car and left me at the station with the keys in my hand. I forgot to be pissed about my missing car till after he left."

Connie grinned and took the body receipt from me. She wrote me my check and looked at the files on her desk. "I don't have anything new for you; just the two files you've already got and they're not due for a while."

"I am heading home any way, thanks." The warmth in my stomach wasn't going away as I thought about what I was planning for tonight. It was spreading actually as I thought about it more standing in front of Connie. Luckily, she had turned away and didn't see the stupid look on my face before I could take off back towards my ridiculously expansive car that Ranger had given me and was now forcing me to drive.

Ranger and I have an interesting relationship. He loves me. He's told me before and he does things like giving me a car and killing a man to show me. I love him, but I've never told him. I've known for a while, ever since the Scrog fiasco where I thought he was going to die walking into my apartment where the psycho was waiting with a gun. I didn't tell him then, and hadn't told him since.

At that time I had been with Joe Morelli. I loved him too, but we aren't together either. We were on again and off again for a long time, but I couldn't bring myself to go back to him this time. I slept in his bed upon occasion when I got really lonely, but those were few and far between these days since he had started dating. I think he finally realized that I'm not the marrying-housewife-mother of three boys-kind of woman he's looking for. Or at least not any time soon. Sadly, he still referred to "us" and seemed possessive. Like it was ok for him to start looking, but I was supposed to be celibate until I grew up enough to go back to him. Yea, right.

I was going to tell Ranger. I wanted him to know, before he left for who knows how long, that I loved him. I don't know why this time it seemed important. He's gone on these trips lots of times before, just not always this long. But this time, it felt important that he know how I feel. Especially since he had already told me more than once, and he's not the type to share. There were usually qualifiers that followed these statements, but when I was being honest with myself, he had still given me more assurance then I'd ever given him.

When I got to my apartment I ran upstairs to get ready. I fell twice on the steps and almost went face first onto the second floor of my apartment building but caught the hand rail and hurled myself down the hall towards my door. I was going to be clean with layers of mascara for confidence tonight. I showered and shaved and applied the layers of creams and such. My hair was tame, but left down and my makeup was simple. I put on my black lace boy shorts and I was slipping on the black dress I had bought when I heard the locks tumble on my door. My clock said 6:55, so I knew it was Ranger.

I looked in the mirror quickly to check out my appearance. The dress was simple chiffon with one inch straps leaving an open neckline. It had a gathered bodice and a v cutting between my breasts, not leaving enough room for a bra. It had a slim band of black satin with five small square jewels right under the bust line. The rest of the dress flared out slightly hugging my hips ending in a double layered hem with a slight rise in the front. This is as good as it gets, I thought. I slipped my feet into my four inch black snake skin FMPs and walked out into the living room.

He turned around after relocking my door. I still had no idea how he got through those every time. I was starting to contemplate jumping out the window onto my fire escape, but I bit my bottom lip and waited. I had butterflies in my stomach that were making my hands shake. His eyes locked on mine when he faced me and then traveled down and back up again. It's hard to tell when a man of few words is speechless, but that's the impression I got. Maybe just wishful thinking.

"Babe."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

He walked over to me slowly, still taking in my whole outfit. I stepped back into the wall and looked at him in his usual black cargos and painted on black t-shirt. He stopped right in front of me so my back was pressed up against the wall and he was less than an inch away. I was nervous all over but I couldn't look away from his eyes. They had melted into a darker brown and were blazing as he looked at the dress again.

"You going out tonight?" He asked with a slight tilt to his lips.

"Nope." It was all I could say and keep my voice steady.

His hands rested on the wall above my shoulders and he put his right foot back so he was leaning slightly towards me.

"Is this for me?" he asked with a grin appearing on his lips. He trailed his fingers along the bust line, down one breast and up the other. My nipples were so hard I thought I might cry. My stomach couldn't decide between butterflies and warmth. When I didn't answer he moved in to whisper in my ear.

"Babe? Is this for me?"

I closed my eyes as warmth won in my stomach and started moving south. I could feel his lips close to my ear and his breath on my neck. I reached out and curled my fingers into his shirt over his rock hard abs as I nodded my head. Words were still failing me. He moved in closer again until his hips were pressed against me keeping his mouth next to my ear.

"Are you sure?" His voice was low and husky as he slid one hand down and let it rest on my hip, his thumb grazing over the front of my hip bone running over the edge of the lace boy shorts through the chiffon of the dress.

I gasped as his thumb continued down teasing me and making the warmth inside my core grow as I felt my wetness spill onto the almost nonexistent lace panties. I heard a groan in his throat when he heard me and felt me shudder under his slight touch. My fingers curled further into his shirt before sliding down and under, running my hands up his stomach to his chest. My eyes followed my hands and continued up his body when I couldn't reach any higher. They didn't stop until I met his eyes with mine.

"I want you." I said with a strength I didn't know I had at the present moment. His eyes darkened more, if that was possible. His hand left the wall and curled into my hair bringing my mouth to his. There was passion and need in the kiss and I reached my hands around to his back pressing him harder against me. His left hand moved from my hip to my lower back pulling me completely off the wall and molding my hips around his. I could feel him harden as the kiss grew deeper and our lips parted together allowing our tongues to taste each other. Every time his tongue touched mine, I felt electricity shoot through me and settle in my now very wet center.

The kiss continued without interruption while his right hand left my hair and moved to my shoulder, removing the strap of my dress and sliding it down my arm. His mouth left mine as he kissed down my jaw line traveling down my neck to my shoulder. Then he moved across the neckline and down the bodice trailing his tongue in open mouthed kisses across the top of my chest. He slid the other strap out of his way and continued up my other shoulder. When he reached the spot where my shoulder meets my neck, I felt his teeth graze and I let out a moan that I couldn't contain. My nails dug into his back and I felt him harden even more.

I slid my hands down to the front of his pants and released the belt and cargo pants, afraid that he might burst the seams if he continued this way. My hands dipped below his waist line and felt his curls with the tips of my fingers. His mouth found mine again and I swallowed his groan as I sucked his tongue into my mouth.

His hands both slid down and under the dress. They reached skin just at my knee and traveled up the outsides of my thighs and over my hips. They continued over the sides of my stomach and I raised my arms over my head to allow the dress to be lifted off of me. I was left in the lace boy shorts and the snake skin FMPs. His eyes traveled over my body again as I reached for the hem of his shirt. I lifted it over his head and pressed myself against his skin, wanting the contact and to hide from his hungry gaze. He stepped out of his boots and socks, leaving only his cargo pants riding low on his hips with the button and zipper open.

He started to guide me back towards the bedroom. As I started to back up, I stumbled and he put his hands on both of my ass checks and lifted me. My legs automatically wrapped around his waist and he bit down on my shoulder as he continued to walk. When we reached the end of my bed, he set me down and let his pants hit the floor. This time, I didn't back away but waited perched on the edge of the bed. He leaned over placing his hands on either side of my hips and put his mouth to my collar bone. I let my head fall back and another moan escaped my mouth. He trailed more open mouthed kisses down my chest, this time having free reign over my breasts. I leaned back on one hand to give him better access and let the other curl into his hair. He took my nipple into his mouth teasing me with his tongue, running it in circles before flicking it across the peak. I felt a shiver run down my spine and my arm gave out from under me. I fell back against the mattress as he switched sides to repeat the treatment to my other nipple. My back arched off the bed as I tried to force more of my breast into his mouth.

When he was finished, he continued down my body trailing his tongue and resting his hands on my thighs. When his tongue reached the top of the lace, his hands slid the panties down my legs. He grabbed my feet off the floor and placed them up on the bed beside me, letting my knees fall open. My whole body shuttered with anticipation and I heard him growl, adding to my desire. His hands slid down my thighs to rest near my hips while his thumbs dipped down to brush my lower lips. He caught moisture on them and brought them to his mouth one by one to taste. My hands fisted into the sheets below me as I listened to him suck my juices off his thumbs. When the "mmmm" escaped his lips, my hips shot off the bed and I started to leak down my ass cheeks and onto the bed.

He grabbed my ass as he buried his face in my warm, wet core. His tongue moved so quickly and smoothly I couldn't focus on any one motion before he had changed direction or location. Each time I moaned with desire he grabbed my ass tighter adding pain to my pleasure and pushing me closer to the edge. I moved my hands back to his hair and gripped tightly as I flew higher and higher. The warmth built in my center and slowly began to spread over my whole body. I bucked my hips against him forcing more contact. I flew over the edge screaming his name with my hands fisted tightly in his soft black hair.

He slid me further up the bed before releasing my slightly sore ass cheeks. He knelt between my legs and slid inside me before I had time to calm myself down. I gasped and opened my eyes to look up at his face and into the dark pools of his eyes. There was more feeling there than I'd ever seen before. He kissed me letting me taste myself on his tongue. He remained still inside me as I stretched to accommodate his cock. I felt the heat start to build inside me again and I wrapped my legs around his back pulling him deeper inside of me.

He moaned into my mouth and grabbed a handful of hair while he continued to support his weight on his other arm. He slowly began to rock his hips driving himself deeper into me. I ran my hands down and back up his back to the top of his shoulder blades. Just as my hands reached the top he thrust into me causing me to dig my nails into his skin. His back arched and he closed his eyes emitting a low moan from deep in his chest.

"Ranger."

"God Babe."

He began thrusting harder and deeper. I moaned with pleasure and couldn't stop as his speed and force continued to increase. I let my nails drag down his back causing him to thrust deeper still pushing me up and over the edge again. I screamed his name again while my walls squeezed around his cock. He groaned with pleasure as he joined me falling over the edge, spilling inside of me.

He hovered over top of me for a few minutes, peppering kisses over my face and neck. When we had both slowed our breathing he moved to the side of me, pulling my back against his chest. I laid against his arm with his mouth nuzzling the back of my neck. I closed my eyes and let my whole body relax.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

An hour or so later I opened my eyes and realized that I was crying. I didn't want him to see me so I stayed on my side and stared at the wall. He was holding me while he slept. I felt him stir again and decided that it was now or never. If I didn't say it now I would chicken out and let him leave again without hearing the words.

"Ranger?"

"Babe."

"Um..I"

"Having guilt issues?"

"No, no guilt. I need to tell you something." I felt his arm stiffen as my heart rate shot through the roof. I knew he could feel it and I was slightly curious what he thought was coming. He waited patiently as I lie there trying to make my mouth move again. Finally, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

"I love you."

"Babe."

"Don't get killed, ok?"

"We've talked about this, Babe. It wouldn't be good for this to be a recurring event."

"I know. I don't think it matters. I love you and that's not going to change. I don't want you getting hurt. You don't have to repeat anything. I know how you feel, you've made it very clear. I just had to say it."

"Babe…"

"No really, don't." I said. It was the last thing I got out before my throat closed up and I started to feel the sobs building in my chest. I held them back, just like I had when he was shot. I swallowed the cries and waited for the tears to stop. They fell silently against my pillow while I slowed my heart rate back down and tried to relax again.

Ranger's body had gone stiff and he still wasn't relaxing. I'm pretty sure he knew I was crying, but I was lying to myself and believing that I'd kept that hidden. I waited for what seemed like hours while the tension slowly left his body. His arms stayed tightly around me all night and eventually the tears stopped and I fell asleep. I woke up to find myself alone in bed. I was about to begin the sobbing that was due to explode but I heard my shower and realized I needed to wait a little while longer.

Ranger came back into the bedroom, dropped his towel and started getting dressed. I let myself inspect every inch of his body while he stood there in all his Cuban sex god glory. Every muscle and every line was perfect. I was thinking about batman and wondering if they used Ranger's body to mold that black body suit thing when his voice brought me back.

"See something you like, Babe?"

"Yes. I'm trying to memorize. Just in case."

"I'm coming back Babe."

"I know, but I don't know if we'll get to do this again."

"I can't figure that out now. You know how I feel about you but I need time to think."

"Ok" I said with hope sneaking in where it shouldn't. He said now, not never. He said he couldn't figure it out now which implied he would do that later. I'm still not sure I'll like the decision he comes to, but it's something.

He sat down on the end of my bed to lace up his boots. "Drive the Mercedes. I bought it for you. Use my apartment and whatever else you need while I'm gone. Call Tank if you have problems."

"Ok" was all I could say. I was still choked up waiting for him to leave so I could cry and touched that he cared. This was the Ranger version of an I Love You confession. On top of that, my mind was still spinning about the figure it out later part.

He looked over his shoulder at me and said, "When I get back, ok?"

"Damn ESP." That got an almost smile as he stood up and walked over to me on the bed. He kissed my forehead and turned away.

"Please, be careful and don't get hurt or killed." I said looking him directly in the eye.

"Babe." And he was gone.

I got up from bed and walked to my door to re-lock it without bothering to put on clothes. I wasn't really thinking yet. I walked back to bed after grabbing the tissues I knew I would need. I curled up in bed and grabbed the pillow he'd slept on. One whiff of Bvlgari/Ranger smell and I was gone. The crying started and was so intense that I hurt. Or maybe the hurt was from something else. There were no thoughts, no words, no anything. Just tears and sobs and some snot.

It took me hours to calm down enough to get in the shower. I thought I was done, at least for a while. But as soon as I got under the hot water, the crying started again. I couldn't feel the tears on my face mixed in with the hot water but I could feel the knots in my chest as my breath kept catching. I decided I'd wait until the tears stopped before I got out of the shower, but the hot water ran out before I did. I washed quickly with the water slowly growing cooler. I got out before it was completely freezing and wrapped up in my robe to warm back up. The tears kept flowing, but I had managed to even out the breathing again. If I was going to talk to anyone, it should probably be now while I have the tiniest bit of control. So I called Connie.

"Vincent Plum Bail Bonds," she said when she answered.

"Hey, its Steph."

"Hi hun, whatsup?"

"Not coming in today. Maybe not tomorrow. I need some time."

"You ok? What happened?"

My chest started to ache again and I wasn't sure I could answer.

"Did he leave?" she asked.

"Yea. But I told him before he left. I just need some time alone for a while."

"Ok. Let me know when you're coming back. I won't assume till I hear from you."

"Thanks Connie. Tell Lula I'll call her when I can."

"Bye Steph." She said with pity laced through her voice.

"Bye."

I went to my closet and grabbed my Rangeman t-shirt. I slipped it on with the matching black panties and crawled back into bed. It seemed stupid, but having something of him, even just something of his business on me made me feel a little more connected to him.

I was almost to the point of passing out from exhaustion when I heard my phone ring. I looked at the ID and almost dropped it. Ranger.

"Yo." I said with a horse voice.

"Babe." I thought the sobs would start again after just that one word but I held them back straining to hear more. I was usually the first one to break the silence on our phone calls but this time I out lasted him. He probably heard me sniffle but I didn't speak. Finally he continued.

"I want this, in some way or another. I don't want you waiting around to be rejected, cuz that won't happen. Ok?"

I froze. Was he really telling me that we could be together? No not really. Not in those words, but he was telling me that he wouldn't come home and send me away.

"I'm not sure I know what that means." I said with a shaky voice.

"I don't either. I still need time to think. But we will figure this out when I get back. I'm not sending you away and I'm not saying no. That's what I'm sure of."

"Really?"

"Be careful Babe." And he was gone again.

For a while, the thought of being with Ranger, in whatever capacity he wanted me, was enough to sustain me. Then all the fear that I had been feeling before overflowed and I was in pieces on the bed again. What if he never came back? What if this was as close as we ever got? What if I just found out he wanted to try only to lose him? I couldn't believe I had water left in my body, but I did.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

I'm not sure when I fell asleep, but I woke to the sound of the locks tumbling on my door again. I sat bolt upright and listened. I heard the security chain catch and I knew it wasn't Ranger. I waited another second and heard Joe's voice from the front hall.

"Cupcake? You awake?"

I got up and walked to the door. I closed it and released the chain and then walked away to sit on the couch, turning my back to Morelli as he walked inside. He came in and re-locked the door. He walked over to the chair and sat down looking at me.

"You ok?"

I shrugged my shoulders. I heard him grunt as he looked at me and saw his fists clench as he took in the clothes I was wearing.

"What's with the uniform?" He asked through gritted teeth.

"Do you really want to know?" I asked without any inflection in my voice. I didn't look at his face, but watched his whole body freeze as he took in my words.

"I think I already do. What happened?" I could hear the anger in his voice and it made me angry too.

"I really didn't want something else on my plate today Joe. But if you're going to be an ass, that's fine."

"I'm the ass? I came over to see if you're alright and I find you like this. How else could I possibly react? You're home crying over someone else who just left. Someone you claim is just your friend and who I'm pretty sure was the reason we split."

I looked up at him and glared. I felt an accusation in his tone which seemed to imply a lot. I knew I'd just spent the night with Ranger. But Joe was trying to imply that this was a frequent occurrence.

"Yea, he's more than a friend. I tried. I tried to ignore my feelings for him and burry myself in my feelings for you but it didn't work. I was pulled in two completely different directions and it wasn't making anyone happy. So I owned up and admitted that I loved Ranger. I wanted to tell him before he left. I'm scared out of my mind that he won't come back home. And yes, being this upset over losing someone else makes me think that you and I were never going to work."

"He just couldn't fucking leave you alone, could he?"

"Actually, the first time I slept with Ranger, while you and I were broken up and you had told me there was no 'us,' he told me that he wasn't good for me and I needed to fix my relationship with you. So that's why I tried. And he kept his distance for the most part. I slept with him last night because I asked him to. I'm sorry because I hurt you and I'm sorry if you feel like I was lying. I do love you and I have loved you. It's just not the same and it's not enough anymore. So despite the fact that I will be on my own for who knows how long, considering that he may not even want a relationship when he gets back, I'm done."

"And here I thought with Ranger out of the picture you and I could try again. Maybe finally settle down." He was still clenching his fists and the muscles in his neck were tight.

"Is that really how you wanted things to be? To convince me that this was as good as it could be while he was out of the picture? So that I would feel trapped by the time he came home? Is that how you want to fall in love and get married?"

"That's not what I meant."

I knew he was getting angry and I shouldn't push him. I was in the wrong and he was the hurt party here. But I was strung out so tight with all my emotions right on the surface.

"Then what did you mean? I loved you both and I've decided that I can't put my feelings for Ranger aside. I'm glad I learned it while you were both here because that wouldn't have changed, no matter what you may have tried to convince me of while he was away."

"I wouldn't have done that."

"That's all you do Joe. You have tried to convince me to quit my job, settle down, get married, and have kids almost every day of this messed up relationship. It's why we would fight all the time. It's why we would always break up. Then you'd pretend to not care about those things long enough for us to get back together only to have it happen all over again."

I was expecting this tirade to send him over the edge. Maybe he'd hit me, I didn't really care. But instead, he looked like he was calming down. That took me by surprise and I looked over his body to make sure I was reading him correctly. Sure enough, the fists were gone, the vein in his forehead was invisible again and his neck was no longer swollen with tension.

"You're right Cupcake. I want a wife and a family and I've been trying to make you fit into my future."

I was speechless for a second. Did he really just say that? "Did you really just say that?" I had to ask it out loud to make sure I wasn't hallucinating because of lack of sleep or dehydration.

"Yes. I'm sorry but I'm glad we're through. I don't want to fight you anymore. I need to let go and move on."

"Holy Shit." It was all I could think to say. He sighed and almost smiled.

"I'm sure you'll tell the whole town you got a Morelli to admit that he was wrong, but I don't know if anyone will believe you. Especially my family."

We both sat there in silence for a few minutes. My mind was completely blank. I couldn't think of a single thing to say. Finally, Joe spoke up again.

"I know you're hurting and could use a shoulder, but I can't be that for you right now. I'd like us to be friends again, but right now there is no way I can comfort you about Manoso leaving town. Whether you love him or not, I'm not sure it would be a good thing for him to come back into your life. I'm sorry. I'm going to go. Don't do anything stupid while he's gone. He'd be really pissed. Good-bye Cupcake." And he got up and left leaving with a kiss to my forehead.

His last comment had me seeing red, but at least it spared me from adding to my tears. I could cry over the loss of Morelli later, if I felt the need. Right now I was ok with being mad at him for saying that and crying over Ranger. The anger calmed me down enough so I could make myself a peanut butter and olive sandwich and drink three big glasses of water before my thoughts turned back to Ranger again.

It was still only 6:00 but I crawled back into bed any ways. I was expecting the return of the water works as I realized that Ranger was leaving town right about now.


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for the long break. Thanks to everyone who keeps commenting. I'm thinking the writing is getting weaker as I go, but I'm still trying. Let me know what I can improve on!

Nothing belongs to me, just playing.

**Chapter 5**

Ranger has been gone for four months now. My life has been just as crazy as usual with the skips and my family's nagging. My apartment was broken into and burnt to a crisp by someone, don't know who yet, which pushed me to move into Haywood. I thought I'd be freaked out but I spent the weekend with a new round of tears over how much I missed Ranger. Smelling him, seeing his things, sleeping in his bed with him away was hard this time. I wanted him here with me. I moved five weeks ago, just before Ranger's last check in. Tank told him where I was and what was going on. He wasn't happy about my visitor, but was glad that I was living on 7.

I've been spending more and more time working for Rangeman and less time working for Vinnie. Connie and Lula have been giving me shit about it but I make sure to bring them doughnuts or lunch at least once a week. I feel safer working in Haywood and now that I'm over the initial weekend of tears, I like feeling closer to Ranger. I still chase skips, but I have backup now. The guys are my new family. I don't really know what big brothers are supposed to be like but I'm pretty sure that I've got 10 of them now.

I still run searches and I've gotten really good on the computers. I've also been using the gym. Big surprise, I know. I run on the treadmills at night when I can't sleep. Plus, every time a skip gets the better of me, I come back to Haywood, pissed off as hell and storm my way into the gym. Whoever is in there gets dragged over to the mats with me for a lesson. If the place is empty, I stand with my arms crossed over my chest and wait. Within five minutes, someone from upstairs has come down to help me. Its become kind of routine now. I show the guys what happened; sometimes whoever was out with me has to help me explain. Then we recreate the event and I learn how to avoid it for next time. I'm better at take downs and I can get out of most holds now because of it. I haven't wanted to get into serious training yet, but this is my own version. Its practical and I can see exactly how and when to use what they're teaching me.

I had just been out with Lester picking up Miguel Rodrigues, wanted for two counts of attempted murder. He tried to kill the man who was sleeping with his new bride. Then he went after his wife. He was apparently taking out some of that left over aggression on me because he managed to flip me and pin me to the floor before Les could pull him off of me. I had landed on something which left a nice bruise starting to form on my back. I was achy and tired and I wanted to crash. After I caught Ram in the gym and learned how to get out of a flip like that, I headed upstairs to shower and pass out.

I used the Bvlgari tonight to help me relax before I crawled into bed. I don't use it every day, just when I need it. I didn't want it to lose its effectiveness and I wanted it to still be Ranger's smell, not mine. I think I could sleep till next week.

Sadly, I awoke long before next week came. I felt the bed dip next to me and my heart rate shot through the roof. I should have stayed calm and tried to comprehend what was happening but my only thought was,_ he's home!_

I rolled over and grabbed on to his shoulders and started to cry. I was so relieved that he came home in one piece. But that's when I noticed the differences. His body wasn't the same and he didn't smell right. Sure when Ranger came home from missions he didn't always smell great and never like Bvlgari, but he still had a smell that was uniquely Ranger and this wasn't him. My whole body stiffened and the tears froze. Whoever was lying in bed with me wrapped his arm around and started to rub my back.

"Hey Beautiful, you ok?"

Shit, its Lester. Why couldn't Ranger be home? Why did I have to assume and get my hopes up? Why did it hurt so much to find out that he was still gone?

I pulled back and looked at Lester, my eyes swimming with tears again. "Hey Les, I'm sorry I thought…"

"Oh, I'm sorry Beautiful. I didn't really think about that. I was just coming up to check on you. You over slept and I wanted to make sure your back was ok."

"Thanks. Its nice of you to check on me." That's all I got out before the tears started again.

"Shit, I'm sorry Steph. I didn't think about what you might assume when I just came into your room. I shouldn't have done it. I didn't mean to make you sad again."

I just nodded my head while Les kept rubbing my back. He didn't try to apologize again, he just let me cry. These big Rangemen cannot handle tears. They don't know what to do with a woman who's crying. Les was actually doing pretty well though. I could have used some chocolate or doughnuts, but he was staying close and offering comfort. When the tears slowed I pulled back to look at Les again.

"Thanks for waiting. Did you still want to check my back? Should I just go see Bobby?"

"I'll check you out and if its bad, I'll ask you to see Bobby at some point today. No rush to get downstairs though. You must be tired."

"I'm not working that hard, Les. I'll be fine. I'm sorry I overslept today. Don't worry about me. I'm doing ok."

"Alright Beautiful. Can you sit up so I can check out your back?"

I rolled over so I was looking away from Lester. I was lucky I had put PJs on last night. Well ok so one of Ranger's shirts and panties, but the underwear was covering my ass so it was better than most nights.

Lester lifted up my shirt and instantly sucked in air through his teeth. Must look pretty bad.

"Not good, huh?" I asked.

"Shit Steph! Why didn't I take you to ER yesterday? Your whole back is black and blue. You must have broken something to get bruises like this. You need to see Bobby right away! Are you in pain? I could bring him up here?"

"Sure Les, why don't you bring him up here. I'll get some coffee and something to eat so I'm a little more awake and a little more dressed." I tried not to sound irritated but it was a struggle.

"Ok, I'll be right back with him. Don't do anything that hurts ok?"

"Ok." I said with a little chuckle. What was I going to attempt in the kitchen that might hurt? These guys have gotten way too overprotective.


	6. Chapter 6

Still not mine, just playing

**Chapter 6**

Bobby and Lester returned in less than twenty minutes. I had started on my coffee and breakfast. Ella had made me pancakes with sausage this morning. I don't think I'll ever be able to move out of Haywood now. She has me totally spoiled when it comes to food. All my favorites prepared and ready without a lecture. My mother was losing her leverage and she didn't even know it.

Bobby made the same hissing noise as Lester when he looked at my back. "Wow Bombshell! This looks nasty. How did you fall yesterday?"

"We were taking down a skip and he grabbed me and flipped me over. I landed on something hard that was lying on the floor. Don't remember what though. I don't know if I even looked."

"Well, I don't think you broke anything. The bruising doesn't look very deep but I'm going to have to push on your ribs to make sure. You ready?"

"Yep." I braced my arms on the counter and gritted my teeth. I didn't like looking like a girl in front of the Rangemen. Difficult when you have long hair and boobs. But I wasn't going to show them weakness if I could prevent it.

Bobby poked and prodded but nothing felt broken to me. I've had broken ribs before and I've had broken arms. I didn't think anything was broken this time, just sore. Lester was simply freaking out.

"Nope, just bruising Steph. You should heal up in a few days."

"That's what I figured. Thanks Bobby."

"If you knew you hadn't broken anything, why did Lester come running downstairs freaking out and yelling that he thought you had cracked your spine?"

I giggled.

"It looks really bad ok! I'm not a medic and I was worried." Les said stepping away with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Because if I had told Lester that I was fine, I would have been dealing with an overly attentive babysitter until the bruising was gone. He needed to hear from someone else that I was ok before he'd believe it." I was smiling at Bobby as I watched Lester's facial expression change from irritated to offended.

"I am not overly attentive!" he said looking at Bobby. Then he turned to me, "Am I?"

Bobby and I laughed. Lester just turned red.

"Its fine Les. You just like to look out for me. I know that. But I also know that you don't like to take my word for things, like my own health. Its just easier to deal with you when you know I'm ok. You guys are all overprotective, so don't go worrying that its just you."

Bobby stopped laughing at this comment.

"I'm not as bad as Lester am I?" he asked.

I just laughed and got off my chair. "I'm going to go take another shower to easy some of these sore muscles before I head downstairs. You guys can let yourselves out and I'll see you later."

"Wow Beautiful, you actually sound like you live here. Good for you."

I froze and turned around again. "What?"

"Shit, I didn't mean to make you mad or anything. Its just you always refer to this place like you're a guest in the Haywood Hotel or something. You just sounded like you were talking about your own place and that's a good thing. You live here."

My body relaxed a little but I wasn't sure that this assumption was a good thing. This was Ranger's apartment, not mine.

"Ok Les, don't worry I'm not mad. You need to go relax yourself. No walking on eggshells around me remember? I'm fine. I will see you downstairs." Hopefully by then he will have stopped acting so high strung.

I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I checked out my back as I stripped. Ok, yea it did look really bad. I would just have to make sure none of the other guys saw it. I'm glad Ranger's not here to see this or Miguel Rodrigues would be a dead man.

Ranger. Ranger's apartment. Guess I had some thinking to do in the shower.

I live here, I know that. But this place isn't mine. That's why I still have the lease on my own apartment. Its still being repaired but I would have it available to me whenever I was ready to go back. But why would I want to go back? I liked living here. My morning routine was easy since I worked downstairs and I liked feeling closer to Ranger. It was nice having Ella cook for me and my monthly expenses were ridiculously small since I'd cut out groceries and gas. Plus, Ranger said I should use his stuff while he was gone. He even specifically mentioned his apartment. And he told Tank he was happy that I was living on 7.

Maybe it was ok to act like this was my place too. I can figure this whole living situation out when Ranger gets home. Its not my apartment, and I won't call it that. But I do live here and I can just enjoy the space and the cushy lifestyle until he gets home.

Yep I'll stick with that. Its Ranger's apartment but I live here. Wait, isn't that the situation anyway? Maybe I just wasn't acting like I lived here. I guess I was acting like I was just visiting. No, I live here and I will continue to live here until further notice. Man, my mind can be confusing sometimes.

I got out of the shower and went to get dressed. Ready to face another day.


	7. Chapter 7

Not mine, just playing.

**Chapter 7**

_Babe,_

_Tank says you're having a rough time. I know I've been gone a long time, and there's still a long way to go, but I wanted you to know that I'm coming back. Don't believe it if people try to tell you different. We have unfinished business and I've never left you stranded before._

_Let Tank help you. I'll be there as soon as I can. I love you_

_R._

I read it again. It gave me strength. It's been seven months since Ranger left. That means four since Tank has heard from him and two since I got my letter. I was headed to my parents' house to deal with them again. They just keep calling and I need my cell phone for work, not for nagging messages. Last time I was here I got in a fight with my mother about seeking mental help. She thinks I'm crazy.

I'm not really working for Vinnie at all now. I still stop by the bonds office to pick up Rangeman's files, but I'm not working the low bond skips. I've left all of that for Lula. She's gotten pretty good on her own and hasn't had to call me to come unlock her from an FTA's bed recently. She's also much better about going to the cop shop to turn in her FTAs on her own.

After my revelation in the shower, I had let Grandma Mazur move into my apartment when it was all fixed up since there was lots of tension at home about my decisions lately. I was just worried about when I needed it back when Ranger got home. I don't think she's going to give it up easily now that she has tasted freedom again. But this was something I would have to wait and worry about later.

My mother was still furious, first that I had left Joe, second that I was living in a man's apartment, third that I was still a bounty hunter, and fourth that I still didn't know how to cook. I was sure I was going to get another lecture tonight about how inappropriate it was for me to be living in a dead man's home. No one believed me when I told them that Ranger was coming back. Tank is losing hope and so is Lula. I'm not sure if they're more realistic or less sure of who Ranger is. I wasn't giving up on him. Tank continued to humor me but most of the guys in the building acted like the seventh floor was mine now and not Ranger's. It pissed me off and I yelled every time someone referred to it as my apartment. I lived there, but it was Ranger's apartment. That was my glorious shower revelation all those months ago.

I know he's coming back. He promised me.

I took off Ranger's watch, which I had started wearing when I found it in his closet after I'd moved into the seventh floor. I didn't want to start a fight right away if I could avoid it. With renewed resolve I walked out of my Mercedes and headed up to the house. Mom was waiting at the door and I heard Grandma Mazur in the living room trying to talk to Dad. Since she didn't live here anymore, I guess she felt like she deserved some conversation before dinner. Not going to happen.

"Hi, mom."

"Stephanie, what is that mark on your arm?"

"It's just a bruise mom. I fell at work."

"Those look like fingers!" she gasped and made the sign of the cross.

"Right, I fell while a skip had a hold of my arm." I was hoping to avoid this conversation but apparently my shirt wasn't covering as much as I thought.

"Why me?" she asked as she walked back into the kitchen. I heard the pantry and was sure she was drinking already. Not a very good sign seeing as I had just stepped inside the house. How was I ever going to make it through dinner?

I walked by Dad and waved. He must have seen it with his peripheral vision since he waved back without losing eye contact with the television. I went to the couch and sat down next to Grandma Mazur. She put her arm around me and gave me a squeeze. She didn't really believe me either but she was kind enough to support me in "my delusion," as everyone else called it.

"Heard from him?" she asked quietly so my mother wouldn't hear.

"Nope." I wiped the tear away before it could reproduce.

"He'd write if he could or call Tank."

"I know." I said before my mother came out of the kitchen looking a little crazy. I wonder if that's how I look when Ranger comments on my mental status.

"You are not talking to her again about that man. He's dead and she needs to move on. How can you encourage her? It's not healthy. How is she going to get Joseph back if she won't let go of a dead man?" my mother was yelling.

My fists clenched and I bit down on my tongue until I could taste blood in my mouth.

"If he was dead, I would have been contacted by the government."

"You're not his wife Stephanie! No one has to tell you anything" She was glaring at me like I was a stain on her couch, not a daughter desperately trying to hold myself together.

Just then there was a knock at the door and a man walked in. Oh, great! My mother is trying to set me up again. This couldn't get any worse.

"Hello Dr. James." My mother said without looking at him.

"Hi, Ellen. How are you today?" he asked with a smile on his face. A doctor? Since when did my mother think I was worthy of a doctor? That's when I caught the grimace on my dad's face. I would have missed it had I not gotten so good at reading Ranger's expression, or lack thereof. She didn't think I was worthy of dating a doctor. She thought I was worthy of a shrink!

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" I said standing up. "I'm not going to sit here while you try to convince me of something you don't know is true. You make assumptions, just like everyone else. I'm not crazy and I'm not unstable. I simply have faith in the man I'm in love with."

"You don't love him. You can't possibly love him. He's been gone for over half a year and you barely know him." my mother said.

"I know him better than you do. I know who he is and I love him." I knew fighting with her was pointless but I clearly wasn't going to make it to dessert anyway.

"He's nothing but a thug, that's who he is." She said.

I don't know how it happened. I have never in my life raised a hand to my mother. Not in all the times she yelled or screamed or made me feel insignificant. It was beyond bad manners to ever be violent and it was disrespectful to threaten or even imply you might hurt your parents. No Burg girl would ever raise a hand to their mother, or any other family member for that matter. But I did.

Before anyone could stop me, I was across the room and there was a smack from where my open hand hit her cheek bone. I've been hit like this before, and it hurts and makes your eye feel like it is going to burst out of your skull. I didn't mean to hit her there. I didn't mean to hit her at all. I just saw red and couldn't stop myself. All I could hear were her words of doubt and disdain she has said about me, my job, my life repeating over and over in my head and every insult she's ever spoken against Ranger.

"You don't know him. You don't know me. You never have. Stay the hell out of my life." I said through gritted teeth. I grabbed my bag and headed for the door. I watched out of the corner of my eye as Dr. James reached into his pocket and pulled out a card.

"I don't need a shrink. If you give that to me, you won't be able to drive yourself home." I looked him right in the eyes as I said this so he was sure I meant business and was confident in my own ability to follow through on my promise.

"Ok, Stephanie. It was nice to meet you." He said. He was better at faking a smile than any Burg woman I'd ever met before. I just shook my head and left.

I got into my car and sat staring at the road ahead of me for a while. I started to hyperventilate and put my head between my knees. I could hear Ranger next to me saying "Breathe Babe," and so I did. When my head stopped spinning I put his watch back on and took off towards Rangeman. I didn't notice anything around me until I realized I was parked in the garage. I had a death grip on the steering wheel and was still breathing pretty heavily.


	8. Chapter 8

Not mine, just playing.

**Chapter 8**

I must have sat there for a while because suddenly there was a knock on my window and Lester was standing there, looking worried. I looked up at him and then back at the car. It was still running. Maybe he thought I was going to try and drive through the building. I took the key out of the ignition and stepped out beside him.

"You ok Beautiful?" he asked scanning my body for injury. Not the same as when he's scanning for his own pleasure. There he goes being overprotective again.

I couldn't speak so I just shook my head. My breathing still wasn't normal as I tried to walk towards the elevator. I saw black spots and before I could stop myself, I was falling towards the pavement. Lester picked me up before my body reached the ground and took off towards the elevator hugging me against his chest. I wasn't unconscious but I couldn't make my mouth or my body work. Lester whipped out his cell phone, quite a feat with a woman in his arms.

"Get Bobby up to 7, now!" He yelled into the phone. His heart was beating against my shoulder and I had a wave of guilt knowing that I was putting him through all this trouble over a stupid fight with my mother. Sadly, my mouth still wasn't working, so I couldn't apologize. Maybe not being overprotective this time.

Lester got me upstairs and into bed before I even realized we were off the elevator. My eyes couldn't focus and my breathing wouldn't slow down. Bobby came in shortly after and starting examining me. I wish I could say this was a new occurrence, but it's happened before since Ranger missed his check ins. Bobby has turned into my own personal break-down doctor extraordinaire. He checked my eyes and my pulse. He put an oxygen mask on my face and started talking to me.

"Steph. I need you to look at me." I tried to do what he asked but I only had a blurry head in front of me. I couldn't find his eyes.

"Come on Steph, focus. Look at me." Bobby said, sounding more angry than most would in this situation. Further proof that we'd been here before. I closed my eyes tight and tried again.

"That's better. Time to count." He said placing his fingers back at my wrist to check my pulse as I slowed my breathing down. Breathe in, count to four. Breathe out count to five. Repeat. He used to count out loud for me but I didn't need it any more.

Lester was pacing at the end of the bed while I focused on Bobby and counted. When my pulse slowed and I could breathe without counting, I took the mask off and looked at Lester.

"I'm sorry Les." I said with tears starting to form in my eyes. I wasn't really that upset but the adrenaline was leaving my system. Denial land was once again my best friend.

"No worries Beautiful. Life would be pretty boring if I didn't get to rescue you every once in a while. I haven't been out looking for skips with you all week. I just needed an ego boost from saving a damsel in distress."

"Then thank you, I guess."

"What happened Steph?" Lester asked with caution in his eyes. He didn't want to set me off again after I'd already calmed down. Again, this has happened before.

"My mother." I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists. This probably wasn't the best choice as Bobby was trying to take my blood pressure. I did notice the shock on his face before he turned to glare at Lester.

"What?" Lester asked, "She feels better after she talks about things."

Bobby sighed and started over with my blood pressure. "Don't bother, "I said. "It won't be going back down for a little while. Maybe you should check it after I've calmed all the way down."

Bobby sat back and looked at me. "You did better this time Bombshell. I'm proud of you. Panic attacks can be tough and scary but you're not letting them get the better of you."

"I'm trying to not have them in the first place. But that woman can set me off faster than I can eat a Boston Crème!"

Both Bobby and Lester laughed at my joke and the whole room felt a little lighter. I kept my breathing slow and looked at Lester after he'd returned to his worried face.

"She asked a Doctor to come to dinner tonight." I wasn't really seeing Lester right in front of me but I kept my gaze fixed on him any way.

"She's tried to set you up with guys before Steph. What's the big deal about this time?" Bobby asked.

"That's what I thought at first. I was even a little impressed that she thought I deserved a doctor. But then reality set back in. She doesn't think I deserve a doctor, she thinks I deserve a straight jacket!"

"What?" They both said at the same time.

"Yep. He was there to treat and assess me while we ate dinner so they could decide what to do with me. I didn't stick around long enough to find out. He tried to give me his business card before I left but I threatened him and he backed off. I was so angry with her!"

"Maybe she's just really worried about you Beautiful. She doesn't see you doing normal things because she doesn't see you at all. Months locked up in the same building can seem kind of crazy if you don't really know what's going on inside. We know you're fine but the outside world has no idea."

"That's not what made me lose it." They both waited for me to continue. I could feel my face turning red with anger yet again. I took some slow breathes and lowered my heart rate before I spoke.

"I was trying to convince her yet again that I'm not crazy. I just have faith in Ranger. It may be wrong but then again that's the point of faith. Her response was…" I stopped as my throat started to pulse with my heightened blood pressure. I needed to just get it out so I could calm down all the way. "She said… She said 'You don't love him. You can't possibly love him. Then she called him a thug.'" I was still seeing red but I felt like I could try to relax a little now.

"What did you say to her after that?" Lester asked. I could tell he was wondering if there was a body to clean up. I don't handle people doubting Ranger very well.

I smiled a little and said, "I just hit her. No worries, I don't need help hiding a body. But I'm never going over there again."

Bobby looked shocked and Lester looked like he wanted to bust up laughing.


	9. Chapter 9

Got some Bvlgari au the vert bath products in my stocking! Its giving me some inspirations so I'm hoping to cruise through the next few chapters.

Happy Holidays everyone!

None of the characters are mine.

**Chapter 9**

9 months since Ranger left.

Today was a bad day.

Turns out my stalker was a guy named Rogers. He's the one who burned down my apartment all those months ago. My car lasted me this long, which is pretty amazing. Although, I have been living and working at Rangeman so it barely left the underground garage. I made the mistake of going to visit Connie and Lula. I don't talk to them much. I don't know what to say to them. The guys know better than to ask questions. Plus the girls are constantly digging for more food for the rumor mill. I guess I've been avoiding them lately. I picked up meatball subs from Pino's and went over to the bonds office to visit. Its been a few months since I've made it over there but I still love my girls.

He waited until I was finished with lunch. I was walking out of the bonds office and I spotted him across the street with what looked like a cell phone in his hand. He's supposed to be in jail, or so I thought. I stood there staring at him.

"Did you forget about me Miss Plum? I thought your apartment was a memorable parting gift."

"I remember you. You're supposed to be in prison."

"Released for good behavior."

No wonder I've had six months without incident. He was incarcerated. Of course that thought didn't occur to me until after my car had exploded. Glass flew everywhere and the whole place smelled like burning leather. Most of the time my exploding cars smell like bad upholstery, but not when I kill a Rangeman car. Ok so this wasn't really a Rangeman car, this was my car that Ranger bought me. And with that thought, the tears begin. I look around for Rogers but he's long gone.

The girls came flying out of the office with awestruck looks on their faces. Within two minutes, before the fire department could even arrive, they've recovered from their amazement and have got their cell phones out and they're calling everyone they know. Maybe I won't be coming back here again anytime soon.

The fire trucks roll up and are followed closely by a black SUV. The cops follow behind my boys. They don't know that I call them that and I plan to keep it that way. I'm still sitting on the curb across from my mess of a Mercedes crying. So far no one cares to check on me, only to gawk at the car.

"You ok Bombshell?" Bobby says walking up to me. I nod my head.

"Are you hurt at all?"

I know he means physically so I shake my head. Words are still failing me at the moment and I don't want my quiet tears to turn into sobs on the street in front of the Burg.

"Hey Beautiful." Lester says sitting down next to me. He puts his arm around me and puts my head on his shoulder. It helps; my breathing slowly evens out and the sobs I thought would explode if I spoke start to slowly die away so my chest is now only slightly constricted.

"I think it was a record." I say still staring at the car.

"I think so too." Lester says rubbing my arm. "Ranger would be proud of you."

This makes me smile for a second until I remember that this was a gift from him that I have destroyed. The tears pick back up and my voice catches when I try to answer.

"Shit, I'm sorry Beautiful. I meant that in a good way."

"I know Lester, but he bought me that car. It was a gift and no other car will ever have that title."

I sit silently for a little while until I realize what I've just said. "Fuck. No. He can buy me a replacement when he gets home. I just have to find something to use until then. Maybe he and I can go car shopping together."

Bobby and Lester look at each other but say nothing. I don't care if I lost faith for a moment; I know he's coming home. I don't need a car to remind me that he loves me until he gets back.

"He's coming home." I say as I stand up. They don't argue. They know it would be pointless.

Tank walks up to me and asks the all important question, "Who?"

"Rogers. Out on good behavior."

"This will revoke his parole. We'll send a team for him today. You want in Bombshell?"

"Not today. I think I need some down time after this. Can I go home now?"

"Bobby, Lester. I'll stay and deal with the cops." Tank says.

I walk over and give him a quick hug before heading for the Rangeman SUV.

The ride back to Haywood is silent and I keep thinking about what brought out my moment of weakness. I have had moments of doubt before now. Its been a long time since we've heard from Ranger. But I have never spoken those doubts out loud to another person. Most people are losing faith on their own and I refuse to encourage that. When we get back to the garage I turn to Lester and Bobby.

"Please don't tell people what I said. I have faith in Ranger and I don't want anyone to doubt that. I don't know why that slipped out but it was a mistake. Keep it to yourselves?"

"Sure thing."

"Ok, Beautiful. You want some company on 7?"

"No thanks Les, I have a lot of thinking to do today."

I walk upstairs and check my phone as I put it on the counter. 26 missed calls and 8 voicemails. Clearly most of them were looking to confirm details and not actually talk to me. My worst fears confirmed. I don't think I want to spend time with Connie and Lula for a while. They just like the gossip and they like that I put them in the middle. Maybe when Ranger gets home I'll have the strength to go back. Right now it takes all the energy I have to keep it together. I have a pretty good handle on the panic attacks and I have been working my regular hours without hiding in bed.

Maybe I should just stay here for a while. I take a shower before facing the Burg via phone. It will give me strength. The shower gel always makes me feel like some of Ranger's potency has seeped in through my skin. Today I need the extra courage. As I stand in the shower thinking of the shower gel I remember the car. It had been another link I held onto. It was another connection to Ranger.

I was going to have to come up with something to replace the car. My late night drives around the city confused most people but just driving the car he chose for me and smelling the leather of the expensive cars that he prefers made feel close to him. It was like meditation time. Maybe I could try running. I'm not into exercise and I don't like it but it was when Ranger said he did his best thinking. I could do it on my own without telling the boys so I could run at my own pace for however long I wanted. Maybe by the time Ranger gets home I'll be able to keep up…..


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

11 months since Ranger left.

I woke up with someone pressed against my back, holding me. My first thought was that he was finally home. That everyone had been wrong and I was right to wait. My heart started to beat against my chest, but something wasn't right. There was no tingle in my spine or flutter in the pit of my stomach which usually told me he was in the room, let alone pressed up to me in bed. Then I remember the incident with Lester and I stamp down any hope and try to keep the panic from building.

"I didn't know you missed me that much, cupcake."

Fuck, Morelli.

I rolled onto my back and slid away from him across the bed, looking at the ceiling the whole time. I turned on my side and put Ranger's pillow back in my arms between me and Morelli before I glared at him. Quite a feat having just woken up at 5am.

"Get out of Ranger's bed." I said, my heart rate climbing for different reasons now.

"I've asked you that before and it never worked." Joe said with a smile.

"I didn't ask. Get out of Ranger's bed. Get out of his apartment, my apartment till he comes home. You have no right to be here. Get out or I'll call the station and get someone here to make you leave."

"No one at the station would come and make me leave. Would you calm down and talk to me for a minute?"

"How did you get in here?"

"I told the guy watching the monitors on 5 that I had a search warrant for a suspected kidnapping. Your mother made me do it."

"Bullshit. You never listen to your own mother, let alone mine."

"You stopped taking her calls and she's worried."

"Bullshit, again. She's pissed at me and wants me to go back to my own apartment and away from Ranger."

"Steph, there is no Ranger to move away from. He's gone and you need to do something to accept that."

"You don't know that. No one has given me any kind of proof. The last thing I got from him was a letter saying he'd be back and that's what I believe. He's never lied to me. Which, absent or not, is more than I can say about most of the people in my life."

"I never lied to you about important stuff," Morelli said with a pained look on his face.

"Get out. I don't want to or need to talk to you. If I'm looking for a dishonest cop, I know where to find you."

"I am not a dishonest cop. I'm not dirty. I'm a good cop."

"Fine just a dishonest human being then. Get out."

"You need to get out of this haze that you're trying to live in. It's not healthy and more than just your mom is worried about you. I don't want to see you hurt or in pain but Ranger is not coming back. He died on his mission and there was no one to send word back. It's been almost a year since anyone has even heard from him."

"I got my letter six months ago."

"Fine, but he still hasn't gone this long without contacting you or Tank before now. He's gone and you need to move on."

"Even if that were true, moving out would not be my first move and I sure as hell would not be moving back towards you. We're through and have been for a long time. Now I want you out of here and if I can't make you leave myself, I'll call Tank and then Eddie and hopefully at least get you cited by the department for falsifying a search warrant." Truth is I know I could make him leave but I would rather not have to touch him or mess with it. He doesn't know me anymore and I would kind of like to keep it that way.

"I'll go when I'm ready. I didn't falsify any warrant; you're man downstairs is just too stupid to ask for it."

"He's new and still learning. That doesn't make him stupid. I promise it'll never happen again." I rolled over and pushed the com button for Tank's office. No answer. I got up and walked around to Morelli's side of the bed, (No, the side of the bed Morelli was on) to grab my cell phone, but it wasn't there.

"Nice outfit." Joe said through gritted teeth. I was wearing Ranger's shirt and silk boxers. It was my nightly uniform of sorts. Ella bought me extra boxers since Ranger only ever had one pair.

"Stop checking out my ass and get out."

"Cupcake, you need to calm down. I am not asking you to take off or marry me, just go shopping with your friends or have dinner with your family or something. You need to have people around you who care about you and this isolation is unhealthy."

"I have people and family around me. Every time I see _them_ I'm told that I'm crazy and need to get over myself. Last time I had dinner with my 'family' my mother tried to have me committed or something. She invited a shrink to dinner. The people who believe me are all around me and I am choosing to spend my time with those who don't want to try and convince me of something that they don't even know is true."

I walked out to the kitchen and pushed the call button for 5 on the other phone. Morelli was walking out after me shaking his head. Bobby picked up.

"What's up Steph?"

"I need Tank. Now."

"Are you ok? I can be up in a minute."

"I'm fine. I just need Tank. Is he here?"

"Yea, he's in the gym. I'll have him up there in a few."

"Thanks Bobby. I'll see you later." And I hung up. I crossed my arms over my chest and stood with my back to the counter. "This is your last chance to leave on your own. I don't care what Tank does to you after he gets here."

"I'm just trying to talk to you."

"No, talking involves listening which you refuse to do. I'm not going to give up on him when there is no reason for me to believe that he's gone. There is no body and no letter telling me he died. Absence does not mean death. The government would have contacted me."

"I care about you cupcake. I don't want you locked up in some building with a bunch of ex-army guys you barely know."

"I know them better than my own family. They look out for me and they give a shit about what I think and say. They don't ignore me or try to tell me how to live my life. We're a family."

Just then, Tank walked into the apartment. He had Ranger's set of keys.

"We look out for our own Morelli. You might want to wait for an invitation before you come barging into this building again. Max knows who you are now and won't be fooled by you again. Now, you need to leave."

"Tank, I just came here to talk. I'll leave when we're done." Morelli's eyes were tight and his arms were crossed over his chest.

I looked at Morelli again and thought about all the things that I could do to hurt him. He had no idea what I'd learned from the guys while I was living here.

I heard Tank laugh despite his best efforts and looked over at him. He was trying very hard to keep a straight face while watching me. It made me smile. ESP again.

"Morelli, if you don't leave I think Steph is going to end up in jail for assault or worse."

I stopped smiling and looked at Tank again. "Please, just get him out of here. I don't want him in my apartment."

"Cupcake, this isn't your apartment."

"But I thought you said that Ranger was dead, Joe? That means its mine right?"

"No, I think that just makes you a squatter."

"In case you wanted to know, Ranger left it to me should anything happen to him. I was given permission to use it until he comes home and the rights to it should he die. So I'm here no matter what you or any other Burg gossip-whore has to say. Good-bye Joe."

"Let's go Morelli." Tank said with all the humor now gone from his voice.

"You weren't married. You weren't even together!" Morelli shouted as Tank grabbed him by the shoulders, effectively pinning his arms down.

"Why do you care, Joe?" I asked and then walked away back towards the bedroom to change into my workout clothes.

"You know these guys already consider him dead, right? They're ex-army and know what it means when there is no communication for nearly a year."

I turned around and looked at him with Tank towering over him from behind. Tank's eyes were sad but he would never admit that out loud with Joe here. "That may be true, but they at least respect my choice to wait. They also know Ranger better than anyone and understand that when it comes to him, anything is possible. Tank?"

"See you downstairs Bombshell." Tank said as he picked Joe up by his shoulders and walked out of the apartment.


	11. Chapter 11

Not my characters, just having fun.

**Chapter 11**

I got ready and headed down to the gym. Once I decided two months ago that I wanted to start running, slipping into training was easy. I had already gotten better with skips from working with the boys so my take downs were pretty clean both literally and figuratively. I was getting better at hand-to-hand from sparing with the guys. It got some of the frustration out. Although, most of the time I spent working on cardio and strength training. I liked the time to myself to clear my head.

The guys had set up my exercise routine after I started running for a few weeks. That's as much controls as I had allowed so my time in the gym is my own. It is my time to focus and feel close to Ranger. I would like to run outside but that involves taking a partner which defeats the solitude. I'll run outside when Ranger gets home.

I knew about him leaving me the apartment from when his lawyer held a conference about a month back. The government had officially declared Ranger MIA and had notified Tank and his lawyer. That was a hard day.

_We were all at the morning meeting, finishing up, when Tank announced that we would all be required to return at noon. As everyone started to leave the room Tank caught my arm and looked me in the eye. I know that look and I'm getting better with the ESP. Private conference in Tank's office._

_I followed Tank in and he shut the door. "I need to warn you about what will be happening this afternoon. Read this first." And he handed me the letter from the government._

Special operative Ricardo Carlos Manoso has been out of contact and unable to locate. We are classifying his status as MIA until further notice.

_There was a bunch of other crap in the letter but that was all I read. I looked at the date and got pissed. It was sent a week ago._

"_Why am I seeing this now and not last week?"_

"_Because I knew you wouldn't care."_

"_Wouldn't care? What the fuck Tank?"_

"_You tell me almost every day that he's coming home. Why would you car that the government has finally admitted that they don't know where he is? Does it change the way you feel?"_

"_No."_

"_Then why would you want to see it?"_

_I think for a minute and calm myself down. "Good point. So why show me now?"_

"_Ranger has specific instructions for events like this. I was to contact his attorney and let him handle things. The meeting this afternoon will include reading part of Ranger's will because that's how Ranger wanted Rangeman to function should he be listed as MIA."_

"_He wants Rangeman to consider him dead?"_

"_In a way, yes. Soldiers can be listed as MIA for years without word of what happened or if they're alive or dead. He wants us to continue to function without his absence getting in our way. Not a lot will change just some small things."_

"_Ok, well thank you for the warning I guess. But I won't talk to his attorney like he's dead and I'm not giving up on him."_

"_I wouldn't have it any other way Bombshell. I'll see you at noon."_

_When the meeting started the attorney explained why he was there and immediately every pair of eyes in the room turned to me. I think they were expecting me to blow up or something. I guess I've been a little harsh about how they talk about Ranger in the past tense. I was going to have to lighten up about things and give the guys a break._

_The meeting continued for a while. Lester, Bobby and Tank now had equal shares in the company as owners. All decisions were to be made through a consensus decision by the three of them. I was to be offered a full time job, should I not already have one with management opportunities. Wow, Ranger really did want me working for his company._

_There were a few other specific employees mentioned with promotions and responsibilities but Tank was right, for the most part things would stay the same. Everyone else was told to leave except my three boys and me._

_Now comes the personal stuff._

_I was to receive Ranger's salary and benefits from the military as his common law spouse and I was to own all three of his personal vehicles and his apartment upstairs._

"_What the fuck?" I asked. The attorney didn't really know what to say so Tank tried to take over._

"_It's what he wanted Bombshell."_

"_I don't want some bullshit widow's benefits. That ass hole!"_

"_What are you talking about Beautiful?" Lester asked._

"_That son of a bitch wrote me into his will and his army benefits as a common law spouse but refused to be in a stupid relationship with me."_

"_You were in a relationship. Sorry are." Bobby said._

"_No we aren't. He told me he doesn't do relationships."_

"_Then why are you living in his apartment and waiting for him to come home?" Tank asked. The guys looked at him like he had just poked a bear._

_I didn't know what to say to that. Shit._

"_You are in a relationship with him. Just because you don't call him your boyfriend doesn't mean he doesn't care about you or vice-versa. You two are both so fucking stubborn that starting an official relationship would need an intervention of epic proportions. Neither one of you have wanted to acknowledge publicly what has been going on for a long time."_

"_Well that asshole could have just told me."_

"_Stephanie, he made these changes almost three years ago." The lawyer said._

_I looked at him and froze. Three years ago I was back and forth with Joe. Ranger and I had slept together around that time but we had never been together. He wanted to take care of me even if I was with another man?_

I have had some time to process these things but I still have refused to touch the army benefits. I sent up a separate bank account where all of the money is deposited and I am just leaving it alone. I don't want it now, I don't know if I'll ever want it. I drive Rangeman cars most of the time when I leave the building since I don't want to lose another one of Ranger's cars. And of course I was already living on 7. I am trying to lighten up with the guys when they call it mine now, since it kind of is and go easy when they slip up. I still gently remind them that he's not dead but I've just developed a simple response for this and then back off.

"No body, no proof. He's coming home."

I'm still processing the fact that Ranger called me his common law spouse years before I told him how I felt. And here I thought my confession before he left was a big deal. Apparently not. Well it was for me anyways. He loves me. A lot. That's the biggest conclusion I've drawn from all of this.

Now that's enough thinking for one day. Time to go to work.

/*/*/*/*

I've loved the reviews today so I thought I'd add this too. I'm sorry for the lack of violence that people were looking for but I still see Steph as more of a Jersey girl who uses her whit more than anything. I know she needs some happy but it'll take some more time.

I hope you continue to enjoy the story. It is starting to wind down so the end is in sight.

Jess


	12. Chapter 12

Not mine... just having fun.

Sorry for the lengthy break!

**Chapter 12**

I woke up in the morning, having cried myself to sleep. Eleven months and 18 days since Ranger left. I was getting worked up that the one year mark was getting closer. I was still tired, but I knew that staying in bed was equivalent to giving in to _them_ so I got myself together and went to get up. I moved and felt the depression in the bed next to me. I looked over to find Mary Lou lying back with her hands at her sides, just staring at the ceiling. How is it this was happening twice in one month?

"What are you doing here?" I asked. Considering I hadn't seen her since before the incident at my parents all those months ago.

"I've missed you." She said. But it didn't sound sincere.

"Who asked you to come here and how did you get in?"

"No one asked me and the guys let me in. We all thought you could use a friend to talk to who wasn't some macho dude in black."

"You're lying Mare and you suck at it." My body had gone stiff and I was fighting back the urge to slap her or worse. I have never hit Mare before. In all the fights we've had over the years, it never got physical. Not even a girly fight. But after what I've been living through and all the time I've spent in the gym, the aggression was fluttering just below the surface. I wonder if Ranger feels like this every time he gets pissed? How many times has he wanted to hit me? No. He never would.

"I just wanted to come and talk to you."

"About what? I've told you and everyone else who wouldn't listen. If you're going to try and convince me that he's dead, don't bother. You're not going to succeed and I'm just going to get really angry again. I don't want to hurt you Mare, but I've learned how to take care of myself with Ranger out of the country."

"He's not out of the country. Shit. You talk about him like he's on some vacation or something. He's gone Steph. He's not coming back and you're just getting worse."

"Worse than what?"

"Will you just take a walk with me please?"

"No. I'm fine where I am. I'm going to take a shower and go to work. I still have a job and people who care about me. They're just all in this building now. I don't want to leave and if you try to force me, it won't be pretty."

"I just think you need a break from everything. You could take it easy and get your head around everything and then decide what you think. They can help you Steph." Her voice caught and I don't think she meant to say that last part.

"You cannot be serious!" My face was heating up and my fists were balled up tight. "As if finding Morelli here wasn't bad enough, now you're trying to get me to seek help?"

"The hospital has a bed all ready for you and they can help you get through this."

"You want me committed? Get the fuck out of here before I hurt you. I swear to God if you don't move your ass I will make sure you can't walk for a week and I'll have men to say it was self defense. Get out and don't come back here. What the hell kind of friend are you?"

"The only kind you've got left."

"Well I don't think I need to worry about that. Gossip crazy burg wife is easy to replace. I'm sure you'll miss the entertainment of watching me fuck up my life, but you'll be sure to replace me fast enough."

I saw the tears start to form in her eyes while she tried to get mad to hide them.

"I am not gossip crazy!"

"You spend your time talking about everyone else. You're just like your mother. No worse, you're just like my mother."

"How dare you!"

"You telling me it's not true?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Mary Lou said. But I saw the red start at her neck. She was embarrassed because she knew I was right.

"Again, you suck at lying Mare. You know how bad it's gotten and you just don't want to think about it. You would rather talk all over town about your former best friend whose gone crazy waiting for some guy she's not even married to. I may be staying here, but I can still find out what's said in the Burg. I've spent months with talk flying about me. I started getting your comments passed back to me first. And now you want to pretend to care? Get out."

I got up and walked into the bathroom. I locked the door behind me. I felt my chest tighten as I heard Mare start to cry in the other room but there were no tears for me. I had already cried about this betrayal and I was done. I waited until I heard her leave to get in the shower. I stood under the hot water until I felt numb again. I was ready to start another day without Ranger here. I wasn't giving up and I just had to keep it together until he could get home.

I froze and thought about that word again. Home. I don't know if this is home, but it's the only thing that I had left. My apartment was long gone. I wasn't speaking to my family or apparently my friends any more. Outside of Rangeman I was homeless and alone. What if Ranger didn't want me living here when he got home? What if he wasn't ready for that? Would he kick me out? No. He might want some space but I could always live on 4. I'm not sure I could survive getting kicked out of the apartment, but I would still have a home here and my new family. Besides, if he didn't want me here, he wouldn't have left it to me.

I pulled myself back together and got dressed. I put Ranger's watch back on my wrist and headed for the elevator. As soon as I stepped off at five Lester looked up from the monitors and was red from ear to ear. This man could make the most inappropriate joke you could think of and keep a straight face. But the minute he felt guilty? He lit up like a stop light.

"Why would you do that Les?" I asked with pain in my voice. I could feel tears trying to break free, but I had lots of practice with saving those for later.

"I'm sorry Beautiful. I thought she was coming to fix things. I thought she would apologize and you'd get a girlfriend back. You must go crazy with all these guys around all the time. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"It's not just you guys. I have Ella who is more of a mother than mine ever was and I don't feel the need to hit the mall any way. Please, don't let anyone upstairs without asking me. Ever." I said.

"You got it Beautiful."

"And spread it around, I'm sick of surprise visitors especially this early in the morning."

That got a smirk out of Les and he started to return to his normal color. "Awe, come on Beautiful. You liked waking up with me in your bed."

"Funny Les." I said as I walked back towards my cubby.


	13. Chapter 13

Not Mine... Just having fun

Short chapter with some pain and a little pick me up too.

Partially inspired by Bruno Mars, _Talking to the Moon_… at least the last bit.

**Chapter 13**

1 Year since Ranger left.

I knew I wasn't going to work today. The guys knew it too. No one said anything about it but it was an unspoken understanding that I would need today to put myself back together. I had been edgy since my run in with Mary Lou and the closer today got, the worse my attitude got. I had been in the gym a lot in the last week or so trying to work out some aggression. Every time I finished a work out lately, I cried in the shower. I'm not really sure why. I mean I know what I'm crying about but not sure why it was happening in the shower on a regular basis now.

I was not going to lose faith. I couldn't, not now. I had made it this far and I would continue to wait. I know that after today Ranger will have been out of contact for seven months and the government most likely presumed him dead. So far his status had remain MIA with no further contact from them.

I needed today to regain my strength. I had to make sure there were no cracks in my resolve before I faced the world again. The one year mark meant that everyone presumed Ranger dead, except me. At least that's what it felt like. If anyone still believed Ranger was coming home, they didn't say it out loud.

I think part of me was starting to doubt and I could not let that happen. I'd stop functioning if I listened to that voice in my head that said he's not coming back. So today was my day to mourn and be scared. All by myself away from the eyes of the world. Tomorrow I would return to my unending faith in the public eye.

I spent the day in bed and curled into a ball. I cried and I yelled. I came out at lunch time to find a pineapple upside down cake sitting on the counter. I love Ella. She knew I'd need support in the form of sugar today. I ate my sandwich first and then cut off a quarter of the cake and took my plate back to bed with me.

After my cake I felt a little calm so I took a shower and washed three times to ensure that I'd smell like Bvlgari for the whole night. I cried myself back to sleep around 6 and was hoping for a restful night. Sadly, that's not what I got.

I woke up in the middle of the night having dreamt of Ranger's funeral. Julie was there holding on to me for dear life. His family was there and they continually offered their support. Grandma Mazur was there but no one else from my family. Connie and Lula were there but not speaking to me. I stared at the grave for hours without moving. It was empty and would stay that way. Julie was taken away by her mom and dad and eventually everyone else left too. I stood and stared at the empty grave for hours, long after the sun had set.

I was sobbing when I woke up and my chest was hurting like never before. If this is what it felt like when I dreamt he was gone, I couldn't imagine the pain of actually losing him.

When I had calmed the sobbing down I got up and paced the apartment trying to get my body to relax again. I wasn't ready to hit the gym.

He can't be gone. He has to come home. I won't survive if he doesn't come home. No that can't be right. He'd kick my ass if he heard me talking like that. I had to be strong. I had to keep going.

Maybe I needed some time away. Maybe I should take a vacation. No, I'd wait and leave _with_ Ranger when he was home. I needed to feel close to him until he came back.

The light streaming through my window was bright and helped to fight away the nightmare. I went up to the roof to get some air. I hadn't really been up there before but I thought that maybe the crisp night air would feel nice and maybe help me calm down.

It was gorgeous tonight. There were stars everywhere and the moon shone like a spot light on the entire world. I sat down and stared up at the moon hovering in the sky.

"Why aren't you home yet? I need you here. I miss you. They can't be right. You'd let me know if you were gone, wouldn't you? I'd feel it right? I would know if you weren't coming home to me."

I laughed to myself. Maybe I did need that shrink after all. Here I sit, all alone, talking to the moon. But I'll be damned if it didn't feel like I was getting an answer. There was the slightest tingle at the base of my neck. Not the full on warning of when Ranger is near. Just a warm breath on my neck compared to the sizzle I usually get.

"You're still out there, aren't you?" I asked with a smile on my face.

I felt real hope for the first time in months.

I woke up in the morning feeling numb again. The pain and hope had helped me to rebalance myself and I was ready to face the world after that hellish anniversary.

**RPOV**

One year since I left.

I'm staring up at the moon from my shitty government accommodations while I wait to finish my debriefing before heading home. It hangs low in the sky tonight and is brighter than I've seen all year.

Babe, I'm coming.


	14. Chapter 14

Sorry for the very lengthy break. I was finishing up my internship and had no time to write. I'm going back to work now, so I should have a lot more time on my hands which will hopefully mean more frequent updates. Thanks so much for sticking with me! The reunion is coming soon, I promise!

I'm hoping to add at least one more chapter this weekend and maybe finish the rest by the end of the month!

Hope you enjoy!

Not mine, just having fun.

**Chapter 14**

I headed down to work to try and get back to normal. I got weird looks from the guys all morning, some pity, some love, some understanding, some confusion. I tried my best to ignore them and focus on my job.

At lunch I got up to go get some food and I noticed that my neck was still humming. Not tingling, not sizzling, but kind of humming. Maybe he's here?

I walked to Tank's office with my food in hand and knocked. I entered and sat down in his guest chair while I waited for him to finish on the phone. When he got off the phone I was still rubbing my neck and hadn't even looked at my food.

"You OK?" Tank asked.

"Have you heard anything new?" I didn't have to clarify; he knew exactly what I was asking. I was only ever cryptic when it came to Ranger.

"No." he said and raised his eyebrow in question.

"Something feels different." I said without thinking. "Sorry, I must sound crazy."

"I'll see what I can find."

"Thanks Tank." I said as I got up and returned to my desk.

The rest of the day I worked and ignored everyone. Every once in a while I'd get another hit of that feeling and I'd have to pause and think about what it could possibly mean. Was I loosing it? Was there someone else here who was causing me to feel like this? Was he home? No I couldn't think about that. Maybe, but that hope would be too much to tolerate.

I ran searches all day and never saw Tank leave his office. Usually I see him walking around at some point, even if he's not going out after a skip.

Six o'clock rolled around and I started to shut down my computer when I heard someone walking towards my cubby. Footsteps that heavy, most likely Tank.

"Can you come to my office before you head upstairs?"

I turned to look at him and I didn't like the expression on his face. He was really fighting to keep the blank mask on but wasn't really succeeding. It must be something really big. He can't be dead though, I wouldn't feel like this if he was dead. I would feel something else, empty, alone, something.

"Ok," I said with a note of suspicion in my voice. I followed him into his office and shut the door before I took his guest chair for the second time today.

"His file isn't open for review. I tried all day to get into it and even made some phone calls."

"What does that mean?"

"It means they are making changes to his file. I'm assuming that they've gotten information about the mission that they are adding."

He paused and broke eye contact for the first time. "What else Tank?"

"They may also be changing his status."

"As in he'll no longer be listed as MIA?"

"Correct."

"But KIA isn't the only option here is it? If he's back they'd be changing it too."

He looked up at me with sad eyes. He's already starting mourning for his best friend. He doesn't have any hope left.

"Don't look at me like that Tank! Just answer the damn question. If he came home, wouldn't it result in the same thing? They'd update his file to active and include the details from his own lips about his mission."

"Yea, I suppose."

"Then why the hell do you look like you're planning a fucking funeral?"

"I just don't see how it's possible Bombshell."

"Then maybe you don't know him as well as you thought you did. He can do damn near anything, including surviving in the worst conditions. You've seen it firsthand. Why is it that you can't believe that he could have survived this."

"I have more information than you do Steph. Don't try to tell me that I don't know Ranger."

My heart stopped in my chest. Tank knew about his mission, knew where he was and what/who he was up against and didn't tell me.

"Fuck you. Come find me when he needs a ride home from DC." And I got up and left.

I went straight to the gym and changed into my workout clothes. I hit the treadmill and started running without even looking around to see who else was in here. Ok, maybe I wasn't being fair. Tank was hurting too and he cared about Ranger. He's known him a lot longer than I have and they fought together for years. I shouldn't have implied that he didn't believe in his friend. But how dare he pull out the classified crap. He knows he can't tell me and he's trying to use it to get me to believe that Ranger is gone. More information doesn't mean he's correct. It just means he's had more to worry about this past year.

I shouldn't have yelled at him and stormed out. I should have talked to him. I should have given him my much practiced one-liner, "no body, no proof. He's coming home." I can't start fighting with the guys. They're all I have right now. I'll apologize later.

I keep running. I shut down my brain and I just keep running. That hum is still there at the base of my neck driving me crazy. I have to believe there's a reason behind it. I have to keep the faith. My first assumption was that the hum was because he was closer than he'd been in a long time and Ranger always told me to trust my instincts. I keep running.

I don't hear anything. I don't see anything. I only feel the burning in my legs begging me to stop. I can't stop; I just need to keep running until I'm sure that I have the strength to face the doubt again. If this news spreads, the whole building will be in mourning and I don't know if I'm ready to handle that. Maybe it's crazy but I just keep pushing. Water bottles keep appearing in my cup holder and I drain them only so I can keep moving. Eventually I see Bobby in front of me. He's talking but I'm not hearing him. I fix my gaze back on the wall behind him and keep going.

All of a sudden I feel an arm go around my waist and I'm lifted up off the treadmill. My legs keep moving in the air but I feel myself pressed against someone's body. Probably Lester since I can see that Bobby is still in front of me. He holds me up with one hand and changes the setting on the treadmill to a walk then sets me down again. It would have set me off were I not so tired. I could have gotten out of the hold if I'd have been paying attention. _Gotta be more aware of your surroundings Babe._

"Five minutes of walking if you can." I hear Lester say in my ear. I start walking and can really feel the scream in my muscles. I don't know if I made it five minutes but Lester had to keep me from falling down before he forced me off the machine. My legs just finally gave out. At least me heart rate had slowed down a bit.

Lester laid me out on the ground and Bobby came over and started checking me out. His eyes look hard and he is all business.

"Do I need to sedate you?" he asks through gritted teeth.

"No. I'm fine."

"You nearly gave yourself a heart attack and could have broken something if your legs had given out before Les got up there."

"I'm sorry, Bobby. I don't know where I went but I couldn't seem to get back."

He looks me in the eye and his whole body loosens up. "I get it. But next time, run on the ground so I don't have a panic attack of my own worrying about broken arms or legs from when you get thrown off the damn machine."

"Deal." I say with a slight smile. I try to stand up and Lester is there to catch me when I realize that I can't even stand. He walks me over to the whirlpool tub and drops me in with the jets already churning up the water. The heat hits the muscles and they tighten again in response before I feel them begin to loosen up.

"Thanks Les."

He just nods and walks away. I realize I'm still wearing my clothes and slowly strip off the wet t-shirt and workout pants leaving me in my sports bra and underwear. I'll worry about clothes when I get out. If I can get out that is. With Lester gone I may be stuck in this tub for a long time. It'll give me time to prepare my apology to Tank, and maybe another one for Lester too.


	15. Chapter 15

I guess I'm on a roll tonight!

Not mine, just having fun.

**Chapter 15**

About an hour later Lester walked back into the gym. He came over to the tub and looked at me. "Bobby says you need to get out and take a cool bath or shower. You'll also need to take some Advil or something to help with the pain."

Without waiting for a response he picked me up out of the tub and hugged me to his chest. He was soaked from all of the water, but didn't seem to mind. He was no longer making eye contact and seemed to be on auto pilot, here out of obligation, not by choice.

"I'm really sorry Lester. I didn't mean for things to go that far. I'm really grateful for what you did for me. I could have really gotten hurt if you hadn't stepped up." He didn't look down or stop walking. He paused to let me grab a towel to lay over my bare legs and then continued towards the elevator. "I just need the world to stop moving for a little while. I needed to get myself ready for a fight."

This got his attention and he finally looked down at me. "What fight?"

"Tank says Ranger's file is being altered. That means he's no longer MIA. Tank thinks he's dead and I'm sure everyone else here will too. I was getting myself ready for the grief that is going to spread through this place like wild fire. If I don't fight against it, I'll fall apart Les."

His eyes were sad but he didn't say anything. He took me up to seven and opened the door without putting me down. He walked into the bedroom and set me on the edge of the bed.

"Dead or not, Ranger's not here. I can't lose you too. You're like my little sister, and you matter. Don't ever do something like that again."

"Ok Les. I'm sorry." He kissed my forehead and left the bedroom closing the door behind him.

Getting in and out of the tub by myself was quite the challenge but I managed to get by without calling for help. I got myself dressed in some comfortable clothes and limped out to the couch. Sitting on the coffee table were four Advil and a bottle of water next to a peanut butter and olive sandwich. Lester must really be worried about me if he's making me comfort food that he thinks is gross.

I sat on the couch and stretched my legs out feeling the pull of all the tight muscles. I ate my sandwich and took my pills before there was a knock at the door. Tank let himself in before I could even manage to move my legs over to the edge.

"Just sit." He said coming in and taking up the chair. "I'm sorry for what I said, Bombshell. I know you still have hope and I pray to God that you're right. But everything in me says that he's gone. All my training and my years of experience tell me that there is no way that he could have made it this long on his own in the situation they put him in. I don't want to see you hurt and I don't want to convince you of something that isn't true, but you do need to be prepared to be wrong."

"I understand the possibilities Tank. I may have hope but that doesn't mean I'm ignoring reality. I fight like hell to keep my faith in Ranger alive because logic tells me that it's not possible. I'm sorry too, for jumping down your throat like that. I didn't mean to push you but I just have this feeling."

"You know he might be dead, but you have a feeling that he's back?"

"Yea."

"Well I'll see what I can come up with. If I don't get answers soon, I'll head to DC myself to check things out. If he's gone and they have a body they'll want it ID-ed. If he's back, he'll need a ride home." With that he got up to leave.

"Are we good Tank?" I asked before he reached the door.

"Of course Bombshell, emotions run high and shit gets said. No big deal. Take care of your legs and don't do something stupid like that again."

I nodded to him before he turned and left.

/*/*/*/*/*/

Over the next few days I continued to deal with the after affects of my running tantrum. My legs were sore all the time and I put myself on desk duty for a while. I stretched, used ice and heat and took a constant stream of pain killers.

I was working at my desk running more searches when Tank walked into my cubby. He had a serious look on his face, but less pain.

"You know something." I said looking up at him.

"I'm not sure yet. I have some people I've been talking to in DC but they're giving me the run around. I'm heading out today to try and get some solid answers. I just wanted you to know why I was gone and to be prepared for whatever may come when I get back."

I just nodded. I couldn't find the strength to talk. I still believe he's alive. The hum at the base of my neck hasn't gone away in days. It's so constant now that I don't even feel the need to try and rub it away. But there is always doubt and I'm not sure how I'd handle the pain of losing Ranger.

"I'll hopefully be back in a couple days." He said as he turned and headed towards the elevator.

/*/*/*/*/*/

The days after Tank left went by painfully slow. No word from him and no running to clear my head since my legs were still mad at me. I was spending more and more time up on the roof staring up at the sky. The moon isn't as full as it was the other night but it is still a bright spot light. It's become a pretty good place to think. I usually sit up there until I can no longer hold my head up and then head down to sleep. It gives me less time to think and worry in bed.

I woke up one night to a warm body spooned up behind me. I knew better than to hope this time. I used my senses as best I could and figured out it was definitely one of my boys. That meant it was probably Lester, the only one brave enough to crawl into Ranger's bed with me.

"Hi Les"

"Did I wake you?"

"Yep."

"Sorry."

"What's up Lester?"

"I was worried about you."

"This couldn't wait until morning?"

"I just wanted to make sure that you were ok."

"I'm fine."

"Ok, are you sure?"

"I'm not really hurting any more, I'm surviving as best I can now will you please get out of my bed."

"Don't like visitors in your bed?"

"We've had this conversation, and no I don't."

"Sorry Beautiful, I just …"

"What Les?"

"I guess I'm not ok."

"Worried too?"

"Yea."

"So much for being resigned to his death, huh?"

"I guess I had hope after all."

"You can stay for the rest of the night, but never again Les. I mean it. This is my space and I need my time alone."

"You got it Beautiful."

Les curled up behind me and wrapped his arm safely around my stomach. There was nothing sexual about it; this was about comfort. I didn't really go back to sleep though. I was worried that maybe my hope was hurting the guys. Maybe it would have been better for them to just assume Ranger was gone and not start hoping again. I didn't want anyone else suffering alongside me if Tank was right and Ranger had been killed in action. I guess I just need to pray that I'm right and won't have to deal with the possible consequences of being wrong. Denial land is my friend again.

Tank better be back soon.

/

AN: I'm not liking these chapters as much. Let me know what you think.


	16. Chapter 16

To make up for my long absence

Not mine, just having fun.

**Chapter 16**

12 months and ten days since Ranger left.

I woke up with company in my bed again. I squinted my eyes shut and tried to keep my heart rate down as I tried to slide out of his arms. This was not Lester and I couldn't get away. Every time I moved, he tightened his arms around me. He was asleep which surprised me. But I was still fighting not to freak out. I didn't want anyone else in this bed with me. I ground my teeth and clenched my jaw.

"Get out of my bed."

"Babe?"

My heart stopped. I gasped in air and felt my eyes start to well up with tears.

"Ranger!" I turned around to look at him and put my hand on his face.

"Who else would be in my bed?"

"You don't want to know." I rolled over onto my side just to look at him. His eyes snapped open and his arms tightened again. I reached my arms around his neck and held him. His hair was really long and tied into a braid. He didn't smell like Bvlgari, but I did. I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed as tightly as I could. The tears started and there was nothing I could do to stop them.

"Oh my God, I can't believe your home! I've missed you so much. Nobody believed me." The tears were streaming down my face and onto his shoulder as he held me to him.

"I tried to get back to you sooner, but I'm here now."

"I'm just so glad you're here. It's really you! I love you Ranger."

"I love you too Babe." He held me and let me cry for a long time. He rubbed circles on my back and would lean down and smell my hair, kiss my forehead or raise my hand up to kiss my palm.

I couldn't let go. Not even if I wanted to. I was leaking tears and snot onto the pillow under my head where I was tucked against his bottom shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'm such a mess."

"Babe, you're beautiful."

When I had calmed down a bit, or at least my breathing was more regular Ranger asked, "Who else was in my bed, Babe?"

Damn, I thought he would have forgotten about that. "I didn't invite anyone in here but once or twice, someone showed up while I was asleep." I felt his body stiffen under my hands.

"I have another place we can stay until the security is rechecked."

I pulled back far enough to look at him keeping my arms around his neck. "It's not a security problem. Not really. The first time, Lester had just come up to check on me. Then it was Morelli and he just got past the new kid on 5. But he learned and didn't repeat the mistake again. He forgot to ask for the warrant Morelli was claiming to have for a supposed kidnapping and he came up to talk to me."

"Morelli was in my bed?"

"Only until I got a hold of Tank and he escorted him out of the building. He hasn't been back since."

"Who else?" His body wasn't relaxing but his face had softened just a little bit.

"Mary Lou. She wanted to see me and the guys thought I could use a friend." The contempt was dripping off my words.

"Not happy with her Babe?"

"She tried to drag me out of here and wanted me to spend some time in the hospital since I was clearly delusional about you coming home. The guys learned not to let people in here without asking first. But then Lester came to check on me again the other night without asking."

"I'm sorry Babe. They can be punished."

"Ranger, I really don't care. I'm just so glad you're home."

"Babe."

I let go of his neck to take a good look at him. I picked up his arms and ran my hands over them. I pulled him towards me and ran my hands over his back. I looked at his face again, and then ran my hands over his chest. His breath caught and I felt myself get warm in my stomach and lower too. "Um…sorry, I was checking for bullet holes."

"It's been a while since I've had hands on me like that. Are you going to check the rest of me too?" His chocolate brown eyes were smoldering and I couldn't help but melt.

My body shivered and he let the corners of his mouth turn up in a smile. "Babe."

I kissed him. I. kissed. Him. I'm not sure I had ever done that before. Even the day before he left I just got ready and let him take over. I pressed myself against his chest and wrapped my leg around his body. I could feel that he was hard through my boxers and my breath caught again as I realized that he was one step ahead of me. He was already naked.

"Are you sure that you want this? I've been gone a long time and I won't be able to stop once this gets started. I made no assumptions about us just because you were sleeping here." Ranger asked. I could hear in his voice that he was unsure of my answer.

"I've been here for most of the last year, on my own. I've just been waiting for you. So I've had lots of time to think about this too. Yes I'm ready. Did you really doubt me? I mean you did climb in here naked…"

"I wasn't really thinking. I stripped and was going to get in the shower, but I couldn't walk away from you here in my bed. I really should go shower though."

"Can I join you?"

"Always Babe." He said with the corners of his mouth turned up again.

"I know you just got back and probably need some time and I don't want to bug you but I don't think I can let you walk away from me right now. I might fall apart." My voice started to crack and I corrected myself. "More, fall apart more." I knew I was babbling but that little part of me that was afraid he'd send me away as soon as he got back had apparently taken over my mouth.

"You in the shower with me would never 'bug' me. You know how much I like the shower. And if my memory serves me correctly, you enjoy it too."

My body shivered again and I felt myself get wet between my legs. That hasn't happened while I was awake in a long, long time. My dreams of Ranger were my only reminder that I hadn't dried up like a prune.

He kissed me with more passion than I remember ever feeling before. My arms wrapped back around him and I loosened his hair from the braid so I could run my hands through it. He lifted me up so I was straddling his lap and pulled my shirt off over my head. His eyes were so dark they were black. He slid us back so that he was leaning against the headboard. His eyes traveled the length of my body and back up to meet my eyes again.

"I have missed you." He said in a husky voice. I leaned down to kiss him and he began kneading my breast. I kept my fingers laced through his long hair. I could feel him hard beneath me through the silk and I shamelessly ground my hips down against him. I swallowed his groan and I continued to taste his mouth with my tongue. I've missed that taste.

His hands moved down to my hips and he pulled me down tighter against him making me moan with pleasure. I felt him pulse beneath me as he began to kiss down my neck and across my chest. When his mouth arrived at my breasts, his hands moved up my back to pull me forward allowing more of my breast into his mouth. My head fell back and my eyes closed as I felt the muscles in his arms and shoulders tighten around me.

"God, Ranger. It's been so long." I said as I panted running my hands over his back again. Another groan escaped from his chest causing his mouth to vibrate around my nipple where he was lavishing it with attention.

I rolled off of him and onto my back to remove the boxers that were keeping me from feeling him against my skin and my core. He followed me and positioned himself above me and between my legs. I reached up and pulled his head down reclaiming his mouth as I forced my tongue inside.

"I can't wait, Babe." He said as he slid into me in one fluid motion. I cried out as my body began to stretch to accommodate his size, the pain of the motion only heightening my pleasure. I had not been filled in over a year and my body had to adjust.

"Oh, God Steph." He said as he looked down at me with those dark eyes. "So tight, so perfect."

He held still until I began to squirm beneath him.

"Ranger, please." I said with shallow breathes, my hands running over his chest.

He began to move his hips at an agonizingly slow pace causing me to moan again. He thrust harder hearing me react to his touch causing me to gasp.

"More." I growled at him looking directly into his eyes.

"Babe, I don't want to cut this short."

"I want more, now. I'm not going anywhere and we have as long as you want in this bed. Right now I need more."

He began increasing his speed and force slowly, keeping his eyes on mine. I wrapped my arms around his back and dug my nails into his skin pulling another groan from within his chest. He leaned down and began licking and tasting my neck coming to stop at the juncture of my neck and shoulder where he dragged his teeth across the skin before pulling it into his mouth and sucking hard. The pain sent me flying and I screamed his name as my body clenched and tightened around him. After a few more hard thrusts he followed me over the top and collapsed on top of me. I have never felt so good in all my life.

I wrapped my arms around him and held him to me as he tried to roll away.

"Stay" I said.

"I'm not going anywhere Babe." He said while he began kissing my shoulder. "But I think I'm ready for my shower now."

I could hear the lust in his voice and it made me moan. I felt him begin to harden again inside me and I clenched my muscles around him making him growl in return.

/

AN: I wrote this chapter a long time ago and I'm in a very different place now so I was having a hard time with it. I'm not sure I love it but let me know how I can improve.


	17. Chapter 17

So sorry it took me so long to update but I have one or two more chapters which should be up in the next week or so to finish up. Thank you for the support while I was stuck and for the wonderful ideas. I hope this lives up to the reunion you were hoping for.

Jess

Ranger slowly pulled out of me leaving me feeling empty for a moment. One look at his eyes, however, and I wasn't feeling quite so alone. They were still dark with passion and he was looking at me like I was water after a year in the desert.

He rolled off the bed only to reach down and pull me upright. He held my hands while I slid my body to the edge of the bed and then returned them to their spot behind his neck. He kissed me again and my knees gave out. I would have been sitting on the bed again had he not wrapped his arms around my waist to keep me standing.

He pulled back chuckling and smirked at me, "Happy to see me Babe?"

"You have no idea." My voice was more serious that I had intended. I know he was just enjoying being home, but this past year of hell was hard to let go of right away.

The humor left his face and he looked me dead in the eye. "Yes, I do."

I stared back at him considering my words and my internal use of the word hell. I had no idea what hell on earth was. This man had lived it, every day, alone. I felt like crying staring into his eyes. He truly is the strongest man I've ever met.

"I love you." I said as I ran my hands through his long hair again.

"Babe." And he kissed me again. Our mouths barely parted as we made our way into the bathroom. He turned on the shower without letting me go. By the time we stepped under the water, I was breathing heavily trying to regain some self control. I didn't want to just fuck his brains out. I wanted to savor the man in front of me. I had 12 long months to make up for.

We spent the next three days in the apartment. No desire for the outside world, only for each other. We talked for long hours, made love for longer hours and finally slept when we could no longer continue. I told him everything about life while he was away. About my crazy skip Rogers, who was still at large, about hitting my mom, about the attempted committal by Mary Lou and Morelli's opinion on my sanity. I don't know that either one would have bothered with me had it not been for Helen Plum, but they were adults and should know when to tell her to stop.

He told me what he could about where he had been and what had gone wrong. There were a lot of "things" and "locations" and "contacts" but I know it was his attempt to share and I wasn't going to complain. I was just happy to hear his voice again and get to comfort him when he showed his anger or pain through his body language.

"I have to head back to D.C. tomorrow." Ranger said after we finished making love in the kitchen. Breakfast was quickly put on hold when he slid up behind be and let his hands roam under his shirt that I was wearing.

My heart started to beat in over time. "Why? You were already there for weeks."

"How do you know how long I was there? Tank didn't show up until I had already been in the states for two weeks and it took another five days to get me released after he showed up."

"I wasn't sure exactly how long but there was a night, about two weeks ago now, that I was up on the roof and I was missing you terribly and I just got this feeling. Part of me knew you were home but the rest of me was too scared to hope."

"There was a full moon?"

"Yea how did you know?"

"Because I could feel you too, Babe. I'm sorry the last year was so hard on you."

"The worst part was feeling like I was alone. I know I had people around me but no one believed me. Then I slowly started losing friends because they all thought I was crazy. Finally I didn't even want to leave the building because everyone was working with my mother to try and get me committed."

He didn't say anything, he just looked at me. He brought his hands up to cup my face and rubbed his thumb across my check catching a tear I didn't realize had escaped. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get all emotional."

"Babe, the last few weeks have been emotional as hell, one tear now is nothing." That made me smile.

"How long will you be gone this time?"

"Just two days. I have to go back for my formal release from active duty."

"Should I go with you?"

"Thank you for offering, but no."

"OK." He smiled at me and kissed me. I saw in his eyes that he was happy I hadn't fought him on this. It's an end to a very important part of his life, he gets to decide how it happens as far as I'm concerned. I considered straddling his lap at the breakfast table since I was quite done before he interrupted with serious talk. Then it hit me, we hadn't been interrupted.

"Do the guys know your back?"

"Just Tank."

"Oh my god, Ranger we have to tell them!"

"I've been enjoying my time up here." He smirked and his eyes darkened with lust.

My body shivered with anticipation but my mind stayed focused, well mostly. "I have too but they still think you're dead. The need to see you and they probably already think I've lost it."

"Alright, let's get dressed and head downstairs."

"Thank you."

Getting dressed took a while and there was more time spent out of clothes than getting into any. We finally managed to get both of us dressed and headed for the elevator.

We stepped off onto five and everything stopped. The phone calls, the movement, even the air seemed to freeze. Lester was the first to recover, "Son of a bitch, no fucking way."

"Santos."

That set the world back in motion. They came rushing forward and all started asking questions. Ranger got manly hugs from a select few and salutes and handshakes from the rest. I got slightly pushed towards the back and just waited with my arms crossed over my chest. It was good to see the light back in the guys' eyes. Lester snuck around and gave me a hug.

"I'm sorry Beautiful. You were right." The guys closest to us hear what Lester said and started to form a line of sorts.

"I'm sorry Steph. You were right," from Zip, Hal, Binkie and most of the others.

"I'm sorry Bombshell. You were right," from Cal, Ram, Bobby, Vince and a few more.

By the time the whole staff had made an apology, most accompanied by a hug, the majority of the staff had returned to work and I had tears streaming down my face. Ranger stepped behind me and pulled me tight against his chest and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Not alone, Babe."

I nodded my head and slowly regained control of my emotions. We walked to Ranger's office and were followed by Lester, Bobby and Tank. We all settled in, me perched on Ranger's lap.

Ranger was busy looking around checking out the current state of his office when Tank started in on what had become a year long report.

When Tank was mostly finished there was a page from the front desk, "Sir, there is a Dr. James here with a couple attendants who would like to see Ms. Plum."

Ranger felt me stiffen on his lap and the guys saw my face start to turn red and they looked a little scared. Ranger put the page on hold and turned me to look at him. "Babe?"

"My mother…," It was all I could get out through the rage that was coursing through my body but I knew Ranger understood when I felt his body tighten beneath mine.

"Send the doctor up to my office, alone." he said through the comm. system.

I turned to look at him with hurt in my eyes but one look at his face and I felt calm again. The red drained from my face and my muscles began to relax. The only sign of distress that remain were my clenched fists. Ranger just looked and me and nodded. He was going to take care of this for me. I leaned down and kissed him with all the relief that I felt.

The guys slowly left the office and shut the door behind them. It would be a few minutes before the good doctor was escorted up to Ranger's office. I rested my forehead against his and closed my eyes. I took some deep breathes to try and calm down the rest of my body. I needed to look calm and controlled in front of Dr. James.

"Babe, you're sure this is him?" Ranger knew the story about what my mother had done.

"Pretty sure but I'll make sure and let you know when he gets here."

There was a knock on the door and we both stood while Ranger went to answer it.

"Dr. James?"

"Yes, I'm looking for Ms. Plum."

Ranger moved aside to allow the doctor to enter the office. I was still standing slightly behind Ranger's desk. I recognized his face and gave Ranger a small nod. I wasn't going to talk to this man any more than I had to, although in his defense I'm sure my mother made a great case against me.

"Hello again Ms. Plum."

"Stephanie."

"All right, Stephanie. You mother said that you had consented to join us at the hospital for a while."

"May I see these consent forms?" Ranger asked from behind Dr. James.

"They are confidential."

"Well considering that I never consented and they are probably a forgery, I'd like Ranger to see them." I was trying to keep the disgust out of my voice.

"Ranger?" The doctor asked.

He remained quiet but nodded at the doctor then moved to stand beside me. He could tell I was getting angry again.

"The same Ranger."

I looked at the doctor and rolled my eyes, "No, I made a clone to perpetuate my fantasy."

The doctor's eyes widened as he looked and me then Ranger and back again. "There must be some misunderstanding. Every time I spoke to your mother she told me a gangbanger named Ranger had died and that you were delusional thinking he was coming back home."

"Excuse me, but my name is Colonel Ricardo Manoso and I just returned from a year overseas. Many soldiers are deployed on longer tours than that and their families are not thought to be delusional."

The doctors eyes widened again. "Colonel?"

"Are you familiar with the military Dr. James?" I asked with just a hint of sarcasm.

"I've worked with several returned veterans."

"Then you understand what the rank means?" I tried not to sound condescending.

"Yes." He replied, sounding slightly exasperated. Clearly I hadn't succeeded.

"Then what exactly is your question?"

"Your mother never mentioned that he was a soldier. She believed him to be involved in illegal activities and killed because of it."

"Then I believe you are speaking to the wrong Plum about a stay in the hospital. Clearly Helen is having problems coping with my relationship with the Colonel and made up an elaborate story to try to discredit me within the community."

At least he had the good sense to look embarrassed. Dr. James shifted from one foot to the other and crossed his arms, placing his chin in his palm in the classing thinking position.

"This building belongs to me and my company Dr. James. Stephanie lives here and has a right not only to her privacy but also to feel safe in her own home. May I please have the consent forms now and your promise that there will be no more attempts to commit her."

"Yes, Colonel. I will leave these with you to do with as you see fit and Miss Plum is clearly not in need of my services. I may, however return to her home to speak with Mrs. Plum regarding her own state of mind."

"Thank you Dr. James." I said and moved to open the door for him as I took the papers. Ram was standing outside the door. "Please escort Dr. James back downstairs to his staff members." He gave me and nod and then followed the doctor down the hall to the elevator.


End file.
